In workshops I love using my Conversation Style Game, M.O.D.E. We all have different conversation styles: Minders, Organisers, Directors and Enthusiasts and in my workshops, in between the laughter, there are so many comments; ‘that explains so much!’, ‘Now I get you!’ as everyone starts to understand the different conversation styles at play, it’s Emotional Intelligence at work and it’s wonderful to see.
I created M.O.D.E. after my experience working with a boss called Trevor. Now Trevor like me was also originally from the North of England and when we were in the pub together, outside of work, we got on like a house on fire. Working together less so…
Over a weekend I would come up with a new idea, (I’m an Enthusiast, Director, I like new stuff and think quickly). First thing Monday morning I would rush into Trevor’s office arms waving saying something along the lines of…
“Trevor, I have this fabulous idea for a new marketing initiative!!!” There was no plan, no numbers, just lots of arm waving and energy.
At 8.30 am Monday morning this was Trevor’s response.
“Tracey, I have not had my coffee or planned my day, go away”
It wasn’t a great working relationship.
A couple of months later Trevor and I attended a program around behavioural styles it was then I realised we were the complete opposites of each other, (Trevor, is an Organiser, Minder, he’s is measured and likes time to think).
All I had to do was make some small changes in the way I spoke to Trevor for my ideas to be heard and this is what I did.
Firstly, I went in after 10 am that way he had time for planning and a coffee.
Secondly, I approached Trevor in his communication style which is calmer and without arm waving.
Thirdly, I gave Trevor time to think, I put some numbers on a one-page document, (I’m unlikely to ever go beyond one page) and left it with him to think about.
IT WAS LIKE MAGIC!
Every time I approach Trevor in this way, I got my ideas across, Emotional Intelligence works!
It turned out once Trevor and I understood and appreciated our differences we become a really powerful team.